they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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