I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
