just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
