My sheets look like a crime scene.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
