I look better un-naked...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
