I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
