someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
