It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
