Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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