Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize