So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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