Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am naked and annoyed.
We're too hungover to prance.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
