Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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