Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
