You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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