lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You can't motorboat a personality
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
