remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
