I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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