It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
