Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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