trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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