When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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