We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
