I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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