she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
