i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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