Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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