Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
why is half of my head shaved?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
