"it" just moved
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
