I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
