I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
