Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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