brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
