I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
