Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
