if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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