My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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