Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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