Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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