You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The adults are the big ones right?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize