His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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