Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
