I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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