I need help removing her.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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