So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sext me about skeletons
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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