so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
