why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
