I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
