trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The air was thick with penises
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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