i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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