your parents love me but you hate me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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