I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
