toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
