mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
