this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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