Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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