don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
