Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
