its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize