I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
