You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
