cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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