Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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